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Mainstream media gushes over Kim Jong-un, certified hottie
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Mainstream media gushes over Kim Jong-un, certified hottie

Why? Why, why, why? Whose idea was this? Whyyyyyy?

Parker Molloy
Sep 13, 2021
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Mainstream media gushes over Kim Jong-un, certified hottie
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I promise this is the only time I will ever photoshop Kim Jong-un’s head on a bodybuilder’s torso.

In 2012, The Onion jokingly awarded North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un the title of “Sexiest Man Alive.”

Twitter avatar for @TheOnion
The Onion @TheOnion
Kim Jong-Un Named The Onion's Sexiest Man Alive For 2012 [UPDATE]
onion.comKim Jong-Un Named The Onion’s Sexiest Man Alive For 2012 [UPDATE]The Onion is proud to announce that North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un, 29, has officially been named the newspaper’s Sexiest Man Alive for the year 2012.
1:45 AM ∙ Nov 28, 2012
114Likes452Retweets

With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman’s dream come true. Blessed with an air of power that masks an unmistakable cute, cuddly side, Kim made this newspaper’s editorial board swoon with his impeccable fashion sense, chic short hairstyle, and, of course, that famous smile.

“He has that rare ability to somehow be completely adorable and completely macho at the same time,” Onion Style and Entertainment editor Marissa Blake-Zweibel said. “And that’s the quality that makes him the sort of man women want, and men want to be. He’s a real hunk with real intensity who also knows how to cut loose and let his hair down.”

Added Blake-Zweibel, “Ri Sol-ju is one lucky lady, that’s for sure!”

The story made a bit of news a couple of weeks after publication when the official website for China’s People’s Daily English website picked it up and republished it alongside a slideshow of the North Korean Supreme Leader, seemingly unaware that everything published by The Onion is satire.

“Ha!” you may think. “What kind of fool would fall for such a thing?! Time to let out a hearty laugh at the idea that an American media outlet would publish something so uncomfortably fawning about that tyrant!” Well…

Late last week, a number of legitimate news organizations actually published pieces heaping praise on Kim for, as CNN would say, his “svelte new look.”

The Associated Press, Bloomberg, CBS News, CNN, Fox News, MarketWatch, New York Post, and Newsweek were among the U.S.-based media outlets that ran pieces dedicated to discussion about how great Kim looks. And just…

What…

Twitter avatar for @AP
The Associated Press @AP
Kim Jong Un looked thinner and more energetic in a North Korean parade that showcased military animals and workers in hazmat suits. Experts say Kim’s weight loss is likely the result of an effort to improve his shape rather than health problems.
apne.wsThinner, energetic Kim stands out at North Korean paradeSEOUL, South Korea (AP) — At an unusual North Korean parade showcasing military dogs and virus workers in orange hazmat suits, leader Kim Jong Un still stood out by looking thinner and more energetic than he has in years.
2:31 PM ∙ Sep 9, 2021
278Likes73Retweets

…exactly…

Twitter avatar for @CBSNews
CBS News @CBSNews
Thinner, more energetic Kim Jong Un steals the spotlight at North Korea parade
cbsn.wsThinner, more energetic Kim Jong Un appears at North Korea paradeThe regime was officially showcasing its civil services, but given the importance of the young leader’s health, his buoyant mood and slim figure will be the big international takeaway.
12:30 PM ∙ Sep 10, 2021
1,021Likes221Retweets

…is…

Twitter avatar for @nypost
New York Post @nypost
Kim Jong Un shows off new body at North Korean parade trib.al/axzfTmJ
Image
12:19 PM ∙ Sep 9, 2021
1,554Likes288Retweets

…happening…

Twitter avatar for @atrupar
Aaron Rupar @atrupar
“He does look good. I’m sorry, he looks better than our president” — Fox News’ Rachel Campos Duffy on Kim Jong Un
12:04 AM ∙ Sep 10, 2021
3,251Likes650Retweets

…here?

Twitter avatar for @Quicktake
Bloomberg Quicktake @Quicktake
LOOK: North Korea's Kim Jong Un showed off a thinner frame and a trace of a tan a military parade celebrating North Korea's 73rd anniversary Thursday trib.al/eRmk3C7
4:36 AM ∙ Sep 10, 2021
202Likes51Retweets

It’s not that this topic is totally irrelevant. In fact, it’s probably pretty important to know whether Kim is in good health or not, as that’s been of recent concern. Rumors had long circulated suggesting that Kim was sick, and were he to die, who his successor would be and what that would mean for the nuclear state.

But this — from CNN’s Brian Todd during the September 9 edition of The Situation Room — is emphatically not it:

Other footage shows the Supreme Leader and top aides at an outdoor table, appearing to enjoy some kind of bright green drinks with the swirly straw. The western-style suit, the overall air of confidence, analysts say, could be an effort by Kim to channel his late grandfather, Kim Il-sung, the founder of North Korea, who remains a wildly popular figure there.

Naturally, days after getting American media to gush over how dreamy he is, Kim decided to test out some long-range cruise missiles.

I would say that these journalists got played, but they know what they’re doing. Maybe it’s the years of treating Donald Trump as though he’s just a regular politician (a mistake that was made in both 2016 and 2020 — and is something I’m sure will happen if he runs again in 2024) that have warped the press’s approach to reporting on dictators. Or, and this is the likelier option, in my opinion, they simply don’t care that they’re amplifying propaganda.

Twitter avatar for @AP
The Associated Press @AP
North Korea says it has successfully tested what it described as new long-range cruise missiles. Experts have weighed in on what the missiles tests show about the ambitions of ruler Kim Jong Un, and whether this signals a new threat.
apne.wsEXPLAINER: Missile tests renew North Korea’s regional threatSEOUL, South Korea (AP) — North Korea says it successfully tested what it described as new long-range cruise missiles over the weekend, renewing concerns that its nuclear-armed leadership its building its capacity to deliver strikes against U.S.
11:45 AM ∙ Sep 13, 2021
75Likes48Retweets

May the rest of this week be less head-slammingly chaotic. I’m really excited about this week’s episode of the podcast, out Wednesday, with features a conversation between me and my friend Franchesca Ramsey. Be sure to check that out.

Also, my wife Kayla’s shop, Tiny Werewolves, has some new Halloween-themed products that just went up. Check those out, too.

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Mainstream media gushes over Kim Jong-un, certified hottie
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2 Comments
Joe Berger
Writes It's Tuesday: Life in Magazine …
Sep 13, 2021Liked by Parker Molloy

Thank you for this quote: "May the rest of this week be less head-slammingly chaotic."! It's not even lunchtime in Chicago and I already want to walk out my back door and never go back to my email. So I needed that laugh because if you can't laugh at this sort of nonsense, what can you laugh at?

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Randy Southerland
Sep 13, 2021Liked by Parker Molloy

It’s just not possible to do satire any more. We’re to the point where Onion stories are indistinguishable from regular news.

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