Understanding the Tragic Death of Nex Benedict
We may never fully know the details of the 16-year-old Oklahoman's death, but that doesn't mean we should just accept the continuing anti-trans attacks.
Hi all. Parker here.
Today’s newsletter is about the rise in anti-LGBTQ sentiment and the death of Nex Benedict, a nonbinary 16-year-old from Oklahoma. If you’re not familiar with the story, I’ve put together a special Thursday edition of First Five. I’ll share my thoughts after the jump.
But first, here’s the part of the newsletter where I ask you to consider signing up for the free version if you’re new here and ask existing free subscribers to consider upgrading to the paid version. Now through the end of the month, you can get 25% off subscriptions by clicking this link:
First Five: Stories on a Single Topic to Start Your Day
Here are five stories to help get you caught up on the death of Nex Benedict.
“Oklahoma banned trans students from bathrooms. Now a bullied student is dead after a fight” (The Independent, Bevan Hurley, 2/20/24)
Whenever Oklahoma teenager Nex Benedict was bullied at school for being transgender, their mother Sue Benedict would encourage the 16-year-old to rise above their tormentors.
“I said ‘you’ve got to be strong and look the other way, because these people don’t know who you are’,” Ms Benedict told The Independent in a phone interview.
“I didn’t know how bad it had gotten.”
The bullying had started in earnest at the beginning of the 2023 school year, a few months after Oklahoma governor Kevin Stitt signed a bill that required public school students to use bathrooms that matched the sex listed on their birth certificates.
“Nonbinary Teen Nex Benedict Dies After Being Attacked By Peers in a School Bathroom” (Them, Abby Monteil, 2/20/24)
Nex Benedict, a nonbinary high school sophomore died on February 8, the day after reportedly being beaten by classmates in the bathroom of their high school in Owasso, Oklahoma.
An anonymous source who identified herself as a friend of Benedict’s mother told local news outlet KJRH that the 16-year-old was attacked by three older classmates on February 7, adding that she believed Benedict died from “complications from brain trauma.” The source claimed that although Benedict couldn’t walk to the nurse on their own following the incident, school staff did not call an ambulance. According to KJRH, Benedict’s grandmother brought the student to the hospital after the altercation.
"I know at one point, one of the girls was pretty much repeatedly beating [their] head across the floor," the source told KJRH.
“Chaya Raichik Was Appointed To "Make Schools Safer" In Oklahoma; Now A Trans Teen Is Dead” (Erin in the Morning, Erin Reed, 2/20/24)
Many look at Nex’s death and wonder if their legacy may also shine a light on the horrific consequences of the anti-trans panic sweeping the world today, fueled by a handful of hate accounts and influencers. According to an investigation by The Independent, Raichik targeted a teacher Nex had greatly admired through her anti-trans account, Libs of TikTok - the school was among the earliest targeted by the account. The account has since become infamous for making posts that are often followed by bomb threats and violence.
Concurrently, the state schools superintendent Ryan Walters put out a horrific video the following year calling transgender youth in bathrooms “an assault on truth” and dangerous to other kids. He has been a fierce opponent towards LGBTQ+ people in schools, even going as far as to demand a principal be fired for being a drag queen in his time off. He has also prevented students from changing their gender markers in school records, saying that he “did not want [transgender people] thrust on our kids.”
…
We are in a mass rainbow panic, and conservatives continue to turn up the temperature. Michael Knowles calls for transgender “eradication” while Matt Walsh advocates for an end to legal recognition. Conservative legislators dehumanize transgender people and their families. Oklahoma Senator Shane Jett, just one year ago, compared the parents of transgender youth to parents who kill their children.
There is a child who was killed - Nex was their name. Embraced and cherished by an affirming family, Nex will rest beneath a tombstone etched with the name that those legislators and hate influencers sought to erase.
A name that, in a just world, would bring about change.
“A Dead Non-Binary Teen and a School Boss’ Cruel Transphobia” (The Daily Beast, Michael Daly, 2/20/24)
Under a law signed two years ago by Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt, students can only use public school bathrooms that correspond with the gender designation on their birth certificate.
That is why on Feb. 7, Nex Benedict, a non-binary, gender-fluid 16-year-old sophomore at Owasso High School, was in the girls’ bathroom with another student, who is trans.
The pair encountered three older girls, and a physical altercation ensued. In a statement on Tuesday, the school said the incident lasted just two minutes before other students and a staff member intervened. By then, Nex, who used they/them pronouns, had landed on the floor, suffering a blow to the head. Nobody summoned an ambulance.
The school suspended Nex for two weeks and called Nex’s grandmother, Sue Benedict, who told The Independent that she arrived to see Nex’s face was battered.
The grandmother, who had formally adopted Nex, took them to Bailey Medical Center, where they were examined and released. The police had not even been notified of the altercation when the grandmother called them.
As the grandmother told The Independent, Nex complained of a sore head and went to bed listening to music, the teen’s regular balm after being bullied. They got up the next morning, but suddenly collapsed. An ambulance took them back to the hospital, where they died. The state Medical Examiner’s Office has yet to officially determine the cause of death.
“Response to Death of Nex Benedict From Bridge v. Oklahoma State Board of Education Legal Team” (ACLU, ACLU of Oklahoma, 2/20/24)
“We are gravely heartbroken to learn about the death of Nex Benedict and extend our overwhelming condolences to their family, their friends, and the entire transgender community across Oklahoma. The assault on Nex is an inevitable result of the hateful rhetoric and discriminatory legislation targeting Oklahoma trans youth. We challenged Oklahoma’s law requiring schools to discriminate against students like Nex because we believe every student should have the safe and affirming environment they need to thrive, and policies that put transgender students in danger make schools less safe places for all students.
“We are deeply troubled by reports the school failed to respond appropriately to the altercation that preceded Nex’s death and demand a thorough, open investigation into the matter. We will never stop fighting for 2SLGBTQ+ people across Oklahoma and the country until every state is a safe place to raise every family.”
Passed into law in May of 2022, Oklahoma SB 615 requires all public and public charter schools in the state that serve pre-K through 12th-grade students to designate multiple occupancy restrooms at school for the exclusive use of either the male or the female sex, as designated on individuals’ original birth certificates.
The ACLU, the ACLU of Oklahoma, Lambda Legal, and pro bono co-counsel filed a federal lawsuit on Sept. 6, 2022 on behalf of three transgender students challenging the law on the grounds SB 615 violates the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution and Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972, by discriminating on the basis of sex, gender identity, and transgender status.
Something needs to be done about this culture of anti-LGBTQ cruelty.
There’s a lot we don’t yet know about Benedict’s death and the motivation of their bullies. Keeping in mind that the school and local and state authorities have every incentive to downplay what happened, we may never get the full story. But we know that anti-trans bullying campaigns are working.
The recently published 2022 U.S. Trans Survey, from the National Center for Transgender Equality, found the following about experiences at school:
More than three-quarters of adult respondents (80%) and nearly two-thirds of 16- and 17-year-old respondents (60%) who were out or perceived as transgender in K-12 experienced one or more form of mistreatment or negative experience, including verbal harassment, physical attacks, online bullying, being denied the ability to dress according to their gender identity/expression, teachers or staff refusing to use chosen name or pronouns, or being denied the use of restrooms or locker rooms matching their gender identity.
And broader experiences involving restrooms:
Four percent (4%) of respondents were denied access to a restroom in a public place, at work, or at school in the last 12 months.
In the last 12 months, 6% of respondents had been verbally harassed, physically attacked, or experienced unwanted sexual contact when accessing or using a restroom.
As a society, we’ve made it more than just acceptable to bully trans people, but in places like Oklahoma, it’s encouraged as part of the worldwide anti-trans harassment campaign designed to increase anti-trans sentiment.
Just look at this article from the right-wing Daily Mail newspaper (“Nex Benedict's final texts to family revealed: Non-binary teen, 16, told how three 'bullying' girls jumped them in restroom a day before they died from 'head trauma' but teachers failed to tell police”). The article, which makes a point of showing that Benedict apparently poured water on one of their bullies (“They had been bullying me and my friends and I got tired of it so I poured some water on them”) in a text message to family after the beating, had this bar of “trending” stories pop up midway through. Let’s go through them:
The first is a write-up of Benedict’s death. Okay. The second is a story that claims that their trans daughter (yes, the Mail refers to her as their “son” throughout) was taken from them because of “pronouns.” The story is based entirely on this couple’s statements about their 18-year-old daughter with zero pushback. If the extremely conservative Indiana state government removed a 15-year-old from that household in 2021, and it says that this wasn’t about “pronouns” at all (“The Indiana Attorney General's Office argued the conflict over the child's gender identity was not why the state took her away from her parents.”), then perhaps this shouldn’t be a story just yet. But hey! Gotta get those rage clicks from people outraged over “gender ideology” (being trans is not an “ideology,” no matter how much the right is trying to claim it is), right?
The third story is predictable scaremongering over something that’s been happening for years in the U.K. and U.S. without issue for years. All of these were published in the past two days, demonstrating the non-stop flood of anti-trans stories being pushed into the world. Stories like these, hyperfocused on a tiny minority with little institutional power, are intended to whip people into a fury. And it’s working.
The absolutely obsessive coverage, which always presents the mere existence of trans people as a scandal in itself, makes it easy to see how and why people of all ages have come to feel as though they can just disregard trans people’s lives. I’m sick of it. I’m sure I’ll have more to say about this story in the coming days and weeks, but it makes me sick to my stomach to watch as the very people who’ve helped fan the flames of this hatred (see: Libs of TikTok, major media organizations, etc.) act shocked when a trans person’s life is snuffed out with impunity.
That’s it for me today. As always, thank you for reading and supporting my work.
Parker
The Nex Benedict tragedy has hit me especially hard, because they remind me SO MUCH of my own nonbinary teen, right down to their ages. These are just kids trying to live their lives, just like any other kid. Nex should still be here to play games and cuddle their cat and do all the things this sweet soul loved. I can't think about them without tearing up.
A few years ago my wife had a job offer that would have moved us to Texas, and our teen was just beginning to come out of the closet and explore their identity. A big reason why she turned it down is that we couldn't feel comfortable moving our kid to that environment, and I can't count the number of times since we have both thanked God we made that choice. Our kid is at least relatively safe and happy.
We need to do everything in our power to beat back these conservative bastards that are trying to ruin these already difficult lives. That means boring middle aged white men like me need to be more vocal and supportive. What happened to Nex is just evil, plain and simple, and there's a lot of people with their blood on their hands beyond just those bullies.
I have no words. My broken heart goes out to all the precious ones targeted by this malicious and willful ignorance—or ignorant and willful malice. 💔