In the final newsletter of the year, I reflect a bit on internet culture, the social media incentives to "dunk" on others, and how I plan to approach 2022.
I'm definitely spending less time on social media next year as I finally quit Facebook earlier this month. I was on facebook largely to stay in touch with family, but in the Trumpist age too many of my family members fill me with rage.
I'm torn up by Lindsay Ellis's decision, but all I can do is wish her all the best. I could never thank her enough for her work. It's some of my all-time favorite youtubery.
Thanks for writing this. Though in a much smaller sense (and it still too much to that point of how many people follow you and have access to say something), I've definitely been on the receiving end of more people than I ever thought I would giving me their piece of mind and bad faith criticisms because of local politics in San Francisco. Because no one wanted to state their real reasons for voting me down for a position (they do not like my housing politics, even though...it had nothing to do with the nomination), they instead manufactured something out of a deliberately misinterpreted tweet and it was...very eye-opening to experience.
I've long thought about the presence I project, the need to respond, and the more paramount need to not respond most of the time. I type a lot of tweets I delete before sending, and I realize...that's not the norm there. And I see how rage-tweeting and bad faith quote tweets are a quick way to more likes and more followers, but is that the way to being a better person, doing advocacy for a better city?
I don't know, it sure doesn't seem that way. Anyway this is definitely a lot of stuff that's been kicking around my head and I appreciate your synthesis of it all
Thank you for writing this. I also recently watched "15 Minutes of Shame" by Monica Lewinsky and Max Joseph (" Catfish") which also addresses this pile-on phenomenon. Facebook's algorithm seems especially geared towards rage clicks and I stopped using it when I noticed that the angry emoji was the one I most often ended up picking. Hopefully more people will see how we're being manipulated into lonely, hateful islands in the name of profit.
I've only had a small taste of this, and only once, and it still weighs on me years later: I had 4,500 followers on Twitter; I uttered the phrase "cultural fit" in a brief thread with a few software friends and someone I didn't know jumped into the thread to berate me for it (completely misrepresenting my meaning and context) and brought a bunch of their followers in to attack me in an ever-expanding retweet storm. It was a very small pile on in the grand scheme of things, but it made me very resentful (and a lot more careful about what I tweeted) -- I can't begin to imagine the effect a bigger pile on would have on any reasonable person. The Internet can be truly miserable in that respect.
After many years on Twitter, I deleted my account about two months ago. I deleted my Facebook account the same day. Looking back, I don't think I had realized just how much negativity I was seeing in general on social media, with so many people I follow getting dumped on almost daily...
I totally support everyone who feels the need to take a break or to completely quit social media.
I've been online since the early '90s and, back then, the Internet was small enough that everyone you interacted with was someone you could genuinely know -- and if you traveled a fair bit, you could actually meet in person. Several of the Usenet groups I used to frequent started to fall to pieces as more and more people got online and didn't know about -- or simply refused to follow -- any of the etiquette around those communities. And it's mostly been all downhill since then.
A great article, and thank you for the pointers on items to deep-dive with.
I've been on the end of those pile-ons too, but in a time when the internet was less developed and doxxing thankfully wasn't a thing, but my site was repeatedly hacked, private conversations made public and my presence online made untenable. I suffered a great deal mentally with it and every attempt to clarify or reach out just seemed to make it worse; because ultimately nobody wanted explanations, they wanted meat and they were prepared to fabricate situations that provided it. I'm older and wiser now - I've got the toolset to deal with it because I reflected and built on what happened, but at the time I couldn't cope and I went offline as a result.
These days, I keep it simple - I only post in small communities in ways I know are going to be perceived as helpful; and mostly that means removing any emotion from my replies and sticking to verifiable facts. Most of what I would reply gets deleted as a result.
I usually don't follow replies on Twitter unless they're on a big story or in a thread but I read yours and give them a like for the clout - I do it because you're always armed with receipts and I hope you continue to do that going forward because I admire the bravery behind it.
This is one of the best articles I have read in 2021. Count on me as a paid subscriber from this point forward. Happy New Year!
I'm definitely spending less time on social media next year as I finally quit Facebook earlier this month. I was on facebook largely to stay in touch with family, but in the Trumpist age too many of my family members fill me with rage.
I'm torn up by Lindsay Ellis's decision, but all I can do is wish her all the best. I could never thank her enough for her work. It's some of my all-time favorite youtubery.
Thanks for writing this. Though in a much smaller sense (and it still too much to that point of how many people follow you and have access to say something), I've definitely been on the receiving end of more people than I ever thought I would giving me their piece of mind and bad faith criticisms because of local politics in San Francisco. Because no one wanted to state their real reasons for voting me down for a position (they do not like my housing politics, even though...it had nothing to do with the nomination), they instead manufactured something out of a deliberately misinterpreted tweet and it was...very eye-opening to experience.
I've long thought about the presence I project, the need to respond, and the more paramount need to not respond most of the time. I type a lot of tweets I delete before sending, and I realize...that's not the norm there. And I see how rage-tweeting and bad faith quote tweets are a quick way to more likes and more followers, but is that the way to being a better person, doing advocacy for a better city?
I don't know, it sure doesn't seem that way. Anyway this is definitely a lot of stuff that's been kicking around my head and I appreciate your synthesis of it all
Thank you for writing this. I also recently watched "15 Minutes of Shame" by Monica Lewinsky and Max Joseph (" Catfish") which also addresses this pile-on phenomenon. Facebook's algorithm seems especially geared towards rage clicks and I stopped using it when I noticed that the angry emoji was the one I most often ended up picking. Hopefully more people will see how we're being manipulated into lonely, hateful islands in the name of profit.
I've only had a small taste of this, and only once, and it still weighs on me years later: I had 4,500 followers on Twitter; I uttered the phrase "cultural fit" in a brief thread with a few software friends and someone I didn't know jumped into the thread to berate me for it (completely misrepresenting my meaning and context) and brought a bunch of their followers in to attack me in an ever-expanding retweet storm. It was a very small pile on in the grand scheme of things, but it made me very resentful (and a lot more careful about what I tweeted) -- I can't begin to imagine the effect a bigger pile on would have on any reasonable person. The Internet can be truly miserable in that respect.
After many years on Twitter, I deleted my account about two months ago. I deleted my Facebook account the same day. Looking back, I don't think I had realized just how much negativity I was seeing in general on social media, with so many people I follow getting dumped on almost daily...
I totally support everyone who feels the need to take a break or to completely quit social media.
I've been online since the early '90s and, back then, the Internet was small enough that everyone you interacted with was someone you could genuinely know -- and if you traveled a fair bit, you could actually meet in person. Several of the Usenet groups I used to frequent started to fall to pieces as more and more people got online and didn't know about -- or simply refused to follow -- any of the etiquette around those communities. And it's mostly been all downhill since then.
A great article, and thank you for the pointers on items to deep-dive with.
I've been on the end of those pile-ons too, but in a time when the internet was less developed and doxxing thankfully wasn't a thing, but my site was repeatedly hacked, private conversations made public and my presence online made untenable. I suffered a great deal mentally with it and every attempt to clarify or reach out just seemed to make it worse; because ultimately nobody wanted explanations, they wanted meat and they were prepared to fabricate situations that provided it. I'm older and wiser now - I've got the toolset to deal with it because I reflected and built on what happened, but at the time I couldn't cope and I went offline as a result.
These days, I keep it simple - I only post in small communities in ways I know are going to be perceived as helpful; and mostly that means removing any emotion from my replies and sticking to verifiable facts. Most of what I would reply gets deleted as a result.
I usually don't follow replies on Twitter unless they're on a big story or in a thread but I read yours and give them a like for the clout - I do it because you're always armed with receipts and I hope you continue to do that going forward because I admire the bravery behind it.